Listerine burns, yo.

So I just brushed my teeth, right? (This, of course, came after flossing.) And afterwards, I followed it up with some Listerine swishing (because my goddamn dental hygienist lady once told me, "OMGOMGOMGOMG AMANDA YUO MUST YUOZ TEH LISTAREEN OR ELSE YUO WILL GET TEH GINGERVITAS!!111!!"), and guess what?!?! I swallowed some. Yeah. I did. I am lucky to even be alive right now, telling my tale. Granted, I didn't take a big gulp or swig or chug or any other noun that has the same meaning as "drink". I just swallowed maybe, I don't know, like 5 drops? More or less. I couldn't really tell. All I know is that my throat burns a little, and on the Listerine bottle it says "OMGOMGOMGOMG IF YUO INJEST ANY OF TEH LISAREEN YUO WILL DYE IN SE7EN DAYZ. NO JEST KIDDING BUTT KALL TEH EMERGANCY HOTLINE AND GET HELP CUZ YUO K00D DYE." This, of course, worried me for about 30 seconds, and in that time, my life flashed before my eyes. It was horrifying. I have never been this scared before in my life. Well, except for the time I watched I Know What You Did Last Summer with the lights turned off.

Shit, shit. I am coughing up blood now. FUCK! Haha, just kidding. But seriously, if the little bit of Listerine I accidentally swallowed were to, say, burn a hole in my stomach, could I sue the Listerine company?

Lots of stuff has happened recently.

Unfortunately, none of it has been interesting. So I won't bore anyone (including myself) by going into details.

Instead, I'm going to make shit up.

Haha, just kidding. I'm too lazy to make shit up. I'm too lazy to even update my blog for crap's sake!

So let's see...what can I write about? Nothing real interesting has happened to me lately. I went to see my TMJ doctor, and he told me I am going to have to spend, like, 475 bucks on a splint thingy so that my jaw won't hurt anymore. Yay. Fucking great. AND, this dude's office is like an hour away, and he expects me to - get this - DRIVE there every once in a while to get the stupid thing adjusted. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my health insurance covers none of this? Not even the visits to his office. I swear, they will charge me if I even set foot into that place. Haha, and oh yeah - he decides that I need to have physical therapy. PHYSICAL THERAPY. For my JAW. Holy djkfsdnfs. What is that going to consist of?

Physical Therapist: Okay, now open your jaw.

Me: [opens jaw]

Physical Therapist: Okay, now close your jaw.

Me: [closes jaw]

Physical Therapist: By the way, your shitty health insurance plan doesn't cover this either. Give me 200 bucks.

Me: [cries]

I can't wait.

In other news...

Um...

I'm going to a Green Day concert in April. w00t. I need to find something punk to wear. This is virtually impossible.

In May, I am going to a Sarah McLachlan concert. Yeah. I'm going to sit right next to her on the piano bench. I am going to be her page-turner. And then after the show, she and I are going to go hang out and stuff. Of course, that is all bullshit.

Ugh. I have to go to work now. Well, actually, I am leaving to hang out with my boyfriend before I have to go to work. But same thing.

It's been fun. Maybe I will update again someday. LOL!